Last week, I turned 33.
If you’re anything like me, maybe your first instinct when reading that sentence is: Wait, what? You don’t look 33!
And you’re not alone—it’s something I hear a lot.
“You do not look 33.”
“I thought you were 25, maybe 26.”
“Are you seriously over 30?!”
At this point, I’ve accepted these comments as compliments (and thank you, by the way!). I like to think they mean I’ve been taking good care of my skin—thank you to my beloved, overly detailed skincare routines that take up at least 15 minutes every morning and night.
But here’s the thing: sometimes I don’t feel 33 either.
And not in a “forever young” kind of way. More in a this is not what I imagined 33 would look like way.
Let’s rewind for a second.
What I Thought My 30s Would Look Like
When I was around 10, maybe 11 or 12 years old, I had a very clear image of what being in your 30s meant. It looked a lot like this:
- A house of my own
- A car
- A couple of kids
- A husband, sure
- Stability
- Some kind of glamorous version of adulthood where everything was “together”
That’s what I thought life at 30 looked like. And for a long time, that’s what I expected it to look like.
So when my twenties rolled in and I felt more lost than ever, the idea of turning 30 started to freak me out. If I didn’t have my life “together,” how could I possibly turn 30? How could I enter that new decade without all the answers?
But now, three years after hitting the big 3-0, I’m starting to understand something important:
Turning 30 is not the end of your youth. It’s not a deadline.
It’s not a final checkpoint where you have to have everything figured out.
It’s just another number.
And actually? It’s a pretty powerful one.
Let me explain.
👇🏼 You can also watch me talk about this here:
The Myth of Having It All Figured Out
There’s this narrative that by 30, you should have checked every box:
Career. Marriage. Babies. Mortgage. Inner peace. Glowing skin. Emotional intelligence. Perfect hair. A five-step morning routine that includes journaling and matcha.
But that’s just not real life. At least, not for most of us.
Sure, there are exceptions—some people do seem to have it all figured out. Maybe your favorite singer. That one girl from high school who now runs her own business and lives in Bali. The top model who’s also a philanthropist. They exist, but they’re not the rule.
The truth is that for most people, 30 is actually a moment of transformation, not resolution.
It’s a pivot, not a destination.
It’s closer to a crisis than to comfort—and I don’t say that negatively. I say it honestly. Crisis just means change. Change means growth.
And your 30s? They’re the perfect time for it.
The Problem with Choosing at 18
Let’s be real: 18-year-olds don’t know anything.
No offense to any 18-year-olds reading this (I love your energy), but honestly—how can we expect anyone at that age to decide what they want to do forever?
When I was 18, I had no idea who I was. My world was made up of school, friends, and maybe a part-time job or a weekend trip. That’s it. And yet we ask teenagers to choose careers, define futures, and pick the “right path.”
It’s no surprise that by the time we hit our late twenties or early thirties, so many of us feel confused, burnt out, or unsure. We’re undoing choices we made a decade ago based on who we used to be.
That’s why your 20s are for experimenting. Trying and failing. Starting and restarting.
And your 30s? They’re when you start to truly create the life you want—not the life you were told you should want.
Crisis = Opportunity?
Remember that whole thing about how the word crisis in Chinese supposedly also means opportunity?
Okay, so technically it’s a myth. Linguists have debunked it.
But I still love the idea of it.
Crisis can mean opportunity. If you let it.
It can push you to ask yourself questions you were too scared to face.
It can make you take a leap you wouldn’t have otherwise considered.
It can bring you closer to the version of you you were always meant to become.
You don’t have to have a 10-year plan to start living intentionally.
You don’t need a clear map—you just need a direction. Even a vague one.
So, What Now?
Whether you’re just entering your 20s, anxiously approaching 30, or already well into your 30s like me, I want you to know this:
There’s no deadline for figuring life out.
There’s no trophy for having it all by a certain age.
You are not behind.
You’re becoming.
You’re building.
You’re growing.
Turning 30 (or 33, hi) is not the end of possibility—it’s just a new season. One where you finally get to define what success, happiness, and adulthood mean to you.
And if your life doesn’t look like what you imagined when you were 10?
That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It might just mean you’re living.
Thanks for reading. And if this post resonated with you, or you’re also figuring things out in this weird, beautiful decade, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. 💬
Until next time,
Flor – @flopereira
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